Saturday, September 27, 2008

Free Speech, Free Stza, Free Donuts

FREE! FUCKING! SPEECH! RALLY SAT. Sept 27th, 2008 2-6 PM –FREE— TOMPKINS SQUARE PARK ( live music by Star Fucking Hipsters, 2-Man Advantage, Joe Coffee, Wombat in Combat, Xris Spider,.. more ) -A Reaction to a Reaction to a Reaction- ----------------------------------A BRIEF HISTORY--------------- Against all odds and seemingly insurmountable douche-bag’ism, the East Village and Lower East Side artists, residents, patriots, anti-patriots, old, young, people of color, and all those who “haven’t gone anywhere” hold down the fort of Lower Manhattan until the great even’ing. Sometimes these stubborn world citizens have cautiously raised their voices… successfully holding political rallies and concerts. That was UNTIL, a NEW Weapon was unleashed upon the masses of non-masses: -------------------------------THE DECIBEL METER….. The latest cowardly Attack on Free Speech comes in a device that seems as innocent as a Tazer, but far more dangerous. The Tompkins Square rallies and concerts, often containing un-popular speech dating back to the 1800’s, are now being selectively shut down when they reach levels of 70db at 100 feet ( or approximately 5 words of dissent per minute). By comparison, a vacuum cleaner generates 70db of noise as far as 25 feet away, and a passing city bus easily sends the decibel meters over 70 db at almost any time. Ironically, the crowd applause level after a song or speech at these events is usually loud enough on its own to allow the dream police to shut the entire event down. While the similarly amplified Charlie Parker Festivals, bag-searched screenings of Batman Begins, and H.O.W.L. festivals seemingly only generate 100+Dbs of more pleasing speech. Can the NYPD, in the midst of a bicycling crisis and fake election year, afford the resources to send enough officers to physically hold the decibel meters, shut down concerts, and taze teenagers…? Sadly, read on ------------------------------------- CURRENT EVENTS---------------- On SUNDAY AUG 3rd 2008, At last months' 20th Anniversary of the Shameful Police Riot in Tompkins Square, the scheduled Concert/Rally was forced to turn the “volume” down and down and down again by decibel meter holding officers, to the point where no one could make out much of anything. The electric bands eventually being completely shut down, the Hungry March Band swooped in like avenging angels and continued to perform in no-electricity-required glory. As a result, the desperate police, with no plugs left to pull, cowardly imposed a $1500 fine and promises to the organizers that more fines would be arriving by mail. --------------------------------------NOT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE---------------- On FRIDAY SEPT. 5th 2008 As a reaction to the this -Selective Enforcement- of ridiculous, unconstitutional, police determined laws, levels and regulations, a concert was held DIRECTLY OUTSIDE the East Village’s 9th Precinct. Although the organizers made every effort possible to reduce the officers’ commute time, making their efforts to destroy free speech as exercise-free and exertion-free as possible, all the participants interested in FREE SPEECH, instead of FREE DONUTS were still met with a heavy hand. Each subsequent musician and political speaker was forced to turn down to lower and lower volumes, until the rally devolved into a simple unplugged Sing-A-Long. The climax of which found an acoustic guitar wielding Stza Crack ( possibly not his real name ) leading the crowd through songs that would have made Pete Seger and Woody Guthrie proud. Assuming they would find pride in the fact that their legacy is now continued on in the form of troubadour singing about burning churches, killing cops and smoking crack. ----------------------------------DOLLARS FOR DONUTS--------------- At the end of Mr. Crack’s set, someone in the crowd handed the modern son of Dylan a box of donuts, which in a disgustingly wasteful manner, may or may not have ended up being individually hurled in the direction of law enforcement professionals, who were reported to be watering at the mouth. What their mouths were watering for is still unconfirmed, but this act was the final tasty straw for said city employees, who spent the rest of the evening leading a city-wide canvas in order to capture Mr. Crack. The elusive yet public figure had slipped away after the concert by brilliantly changing from one completely black outfit, to a different completely black outfit, assuring his escape from the detail oriented detectives. -------------------------------TAZERS INTRODUCED, NOT RECEIVED WELL------------ Fortunately Mr. Crack, ( again, name unconfirmed) was later found in Tompkins Square Park, unapologetically strumming his acoustic guitar and was quickly whisked into a Police Cruiser heading to the Tombs. Soon a bevy of young fans were tazed and arrested after laying in front of, jumping on, or dumping trash on the cruiser. Realizing the futility of “telling the officers to not taze them”, the youths accepted the punishment, though not completely in silence, if ones counts the screeches of pain. The music / constitutional law / surrealism fans were soon hauled off to jail along with the cop killing, donut throwing, church burning Mr. Crack, who somehow, despite all these felonious activities, had managed to escape arrest for all these years. This SAT: the SAGA CONTINUES…. Tompkins Square, It’s Everywhere -Xris Spider. More on INFO on this weekend’s FREE!FUCKING!SPEECH! CONCERT / RALLY, VISIT: For Photos/Videos/ & more detailed accounts of recent Jelly Glazed Donut related events, VISIT: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


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