Saturday, February 02, 2019

Hmmm ... five years since last blog post— TEAM SPIDER NEWS!

Team Spider continues its indefinite hiatus, starting Circa 2008- but stuff has been a brew... An invitation to Play Tompkins Square Park 30th Anniversary of the Police Riots, seems to have kicked off a potential chain reaction of events, that may snow ball... but either way has brought some joy and appreciation of people who we have impacted the lives of and their desire to show some love to TEAM SPIDER and light a lotta bit of fire under our butts. One event was some homeless street kids pulling me KRiS aside on the sidewalk to sit., slog a dirty 40oz. And bust out some Team spider songs on a strangely tuned acoustic after they saw me hanging in C-SQUAT / Morus space. Turns out they were “live streaming”- and it was impromptu dubbed “team spider tv 2.0”. —- which may happen again... I’ve got some ideas ( more ideas than time as per usual - but I’m feeling the love so what is a better motivator ?) This resulted in an offer to do a split record w/ one of the street squatting kids band’s, the Comrades - guess they’ll change their sponge sign from “money for booze” to “money for vinyl printing” - but I’ve learned not to underestimate the power of people who are more apt than most to survive the apocalypse ( real apocalypse, not “L-pocalyse” as the papers have dubbed the upcoming L train shutdown to Brooklyn—. I don’t think anything that can be solved with a bike really qualifies as an apocalypse...) *gotta stop watering down these terms folks, nazi has already been hollowed out to the point of harmless thanks virtue signal typewriter monkeys... Anyhow, this has led to an offer for a acoustic show in the summer2019 on Tompkins... to which I replied “pencil me in” as its hard for me to commit to anything right now- but chances are I’ll pull something out of my keister - hopefully not a prison shank. And in minor hilarity / odd communications news, Jon from the band the Comrades began randomly sending me 3 minute messenger voice mails that appear to be him just playing guitar riffs—. After a while I just finally replied with a guitar rock out ( that resulted in a call from the neighbors )... apparently the FBI I mean agent suckerBerg only allows 3 minutes max.. so there are no painful greatful dead jams, but we have been continuing this riff’ersation for a while now— and maybe it will result in some avant- garde album or at least get me to write some new Team Soider songs. My 6 yr old is teaching me piano, so expect some bohemian rhapsody sequel ska core metal. ( funny recent total recall;, my 7th grade music teacher, used Queen’s “News 0f the World” album to teach us some theory/ clap / rest exercises, AND he also used to cane me with a dowel rod when I got out of line. Resulting in either welts on my ass, or black and blue knuckles if I threw a desperate and blind behind the back block manu er to ( literally ) save my a$$— Mr Evans, Wyoming Valley West middle school,  mining town Plymouth Pennsylvania, in a school whose pool drained in to a subsiding mineshaft thanksfully not taking any welted ass prepubescents with it,  he was oddly ahead of his time and yet still regressively barbaric, but looking back I appreciate his impact in my life)... That all said, I’ve been inspired to maybe make an appearance on our YouTube channel ( ) which barely hosts any of our hard work as we were a hair ahead of our time outlet-wise and winding down our public access tv bike punk minor celebrity/ reality show / web channel ways JUST AS YouTube was starting to appear... ( circa 2005 ) so perhaps I will find some time to web cam or live stream myself & whoever is available ( alive) to introduce some old pieces, and in a bizarre time warp make the young versions of ourselves ( except Zak, he’s always old like Jim Morison and James Dean are forever young ) YouTube stars... Maybe not, sounds like a lot of work - about 10000 times harder than starting a bandcamp page- which we still haven’t done but people are asking us to - at LEAST to hear some music if not Fund Raise for a new record ( yikes )— we’ll see. Either way .. 2019 sounds exciting, and I look forward to you ( I’m assuming only ONE person @best reads this blog) .. joining us
 Peace KRi5 5pYdr

Saturday, March 08, 2014

TEAM STUDIO: JC Studios celebrates 2 years!!! A TeamSpider reunion special???

Team Studio: A super RARE Spotting of the majority of team spider members together
for the first time in years at the JC STUDIOS "2 Year Anniversary" party.

The wickedly awesome, as they'd say in Bawstun, recording/rehearsal/art owned and operated by Team Spider-members $AM & JUGGY D.

To properly ring in the 2nd Birthday of the spider'rific locale,
JC Studio's reception / lounge / kitchenette was decked out with turntables and a full bar
serving the finest beats and spirits absolutely free,
save for the pouty lipped guilt stare of bartender Justine if you skipped the tip jar, which we hope you wouldn't.
Justine mid beyatch-slap to a non-tipper

The gallery space was displaying art by Nancy Palubniak and Preska Wenger among others while Baldy Longhair recording artists BRAIN AND THE CRAZIES rocked out the sweaty bouncing performance space. Fans of non Ear-bud ACTUAL LIVE BAND jamming were crammed in every square inch of the nearby rooms and hallways rocking out to the catchy punkTastic jams, resulting in JC Studios being perhaps the only building in Jersey to be running five rooms of air conditioning this fine cold winter night.
Xris' appearance was unexpected, due to the fact that he and his Madame Spider are expecting a baby and the DUE DATE was of course the same night as the studios' second B-day, but it just goes to show you can't keep a good spider down, especially if an open bar is involved.

Frequent cell phone checking occurred and no labor took place, which is good as parties are for creating' , not working. Xris' appearance did result in an overheard comment by a Team Spider superfan in attendance who said "Does this mean (drummer) Oscar is going to walk in the door next and my (team spider reunion) dream is going to come true?"

Well, spoiler alert, there was no sign of Oscar, & no TS rocking occurred, but upon returning home, the super busy super PaPa Xris checked his personal email for the first time in a while and lo & behold there was a note from Oscar dated just the day before, pondering when "the last time we all got together was at this point? It's been a couple years!" We'll, had Xris seen the note earlier he probably would have mentioned the party, or had Oscar been more of a Facebook / NSA-surveillance type perhaps hyper-drummer-lad would have seen he was most likely invited to the bash, but alas, it seems it was not meant be.

Ah... who can predict the future? Xris WAS heard mentioning to $AM that in between diaper changes, feedings and trips to the library story-time he has been jotting down notes and emailing voice memo's of riffs to an ancient teamspider Email account that he "hopes he still can remember the password to." $AM laughed and said if XRIS figures it out let him have the password too and he'll check 'em out and see if he comes up with anything...

So TeamSpider superfan(s?), you may someday get more than an impromptu-mini-set at a party In the near diss'tant future, but for now, just keep your ears open for the wails and cries of the latest MINI-SPIDER TEAM MATE preparing to enter the world any day now! After that? Only the fates know...
CRAZY AND THE BRAINS, live, dark, romantic

GOOG-ILL AD (non)SENSE -- be sure to party / rehearse / record at JC Studios', accommodating accomadations for ALL your fine audio needs -
Just 1 quick stop on the Path Train ( GROVE STREET stop* ) from 'ole Manhattan.
Call (201) 435-1024 for information on rates and special offers. (*or ask future New World order president and Putin arm-wrestling hopeful Christ Christy for directions from the GW bridge
--but ride yö bike Beeyatcjh !!! )

Monday, May 27, 2013

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

Amazing description of depression.(above )
We lost one of our founding Team Spider members, Eric Kammer, to suicide.

His death inspired the song and recording of Wait For The Dawn, on what became the "no cash split",
It is a serious situation when someone wants to hurt them self.  Be sure to watch for your friends, I wish Eric had waited to see the sun, whether he could have felt it at that point or not,  I am sure he would have felt it today

Friday, March 29, 2013

free speech, free stza, free donuts

--free speech, free stza, free donuts FREE! FUCKING! SPEECH! RALLY SAT. Sept 27th, 2008 2-6 PM –FREE— TOMPKINS SQUARE PARK ( live music by Star Fucking Hipsters, 2-Man Advantage, Joe Coffee, Wombat in Combat, Xris Spider,.. more ) -A Reaction to a Reaction to a Reaction- ----------------------------------A BRIEF HISTORY--------------- Against all odds and seemingly insurmountable douche-bag’ism, the East Village and Lower East Side artists, residents, patriots, anti-patriots, old, young, people of color, and all those who “haven’t gone anywhere” hold down the fort of Lower Manhattan until the great even’ing. Sometimes these stubborn world citizens have cautiously raised their voices… successfully holding political rallies and concerts. That was UNTIL, a NEW Weapon was unleashed upon the masses of non-masses: -------------------------------THE DECIBEL METER….. The latest cowardly Attack on Free Speech comes in a device that seems as innocent as a Tazer, but far more dangerous. The Tompkins Square rallies and concerts, often containing un-popular speech dating back to the 1800’s, are now being selectively shut down when they reach levels of 70db at 100 feet ( or approximately 5 words of dissent per minute). By comparison, a vacuum cleaner generates 70db of noise as far as 25 feet away, and a passing city bus easily sends the decibel meters over 70 db at almost any time. Ironically, the crowd applause level after a song or speech at these events is usually loud enough on its own to allow the dream police to shut the entire event down. While the similarly amplified Charlie Parker Festivals, bag-searched screenings of Batman Begins, and H.O.W.L. festivals seemingly only generate 100+Dbs of more pleasing speech. Can the NYPD, in the midst of a bicycling crisis and fake election year, afford the resources to send enough officers to physically hold the decibel meters, shut down concerts, and taze teenagers…? Sadly, read on ------------------------------------- CURRENT EVENTS---------------- On SUNDAY AUG 3rd 2008, At last months' 20th Anniversary of the Shameful Police Riot in Tompkins Square, the scheduled Concert/Rally was forced to turn the “volume” down and down and down again by decibel meter holding officers, to the point where no one could make out much of anything. The electric bands eventually being completely shut down, the Hungry March Band swooped in like avenging angels and continued to perform in no-electricity-required glory. As a result, the desperate police, with no plugs left to pull, cowardly imposed a $1500 fine and promises to the organizers that more fines would be arriving by mail. --------------------------------------NOT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE---------------- On FRIDAY SEPT. 5th 2008 As a reaction to the this -Selective Enforcement- of ridiculous, unconstitutional, police determined laws, levels and regulations, a concert was held DIRECTLY OUTSIDE the East Village’s 9th Precinct. Although the organizers made every effort possible to reduce the officers’ commute time, making their efforts to destroy free speech as exercise-free and exertion-free as possible, all the participants interested in FREE SPEECH, instead of FREE DONUTS were still met with a heavy hand. Each subsequent musician and political speaker was forced to turn down to lower and lower volumes, until the rally devolved into a simple unplugged Sing-A-Long. The climax of which found an acoustic guitar wielding Stza Crack ( possibly not his real name ) leading the crowd through songs that would have made Pete Seger and Woody Guthrie proud. Assuming they would find pride in the fact that their legacy is now continued on in the form of troubadour singing about burning churches, killing cops and smoking crack. ----------------------------------DOLLARS FOR DONUTS--------------- At the end of Mr. Crack’s set, someone in the crowd handed the modern son of Dylan a box of donuts, which in a disgustingly wasteful manner, may or may not have ended up being individually hurled in the direction of law enforcement professionals, who were reported to be watering at the mouth. What their mouths were watering for is still unconfirmed, but this act was the final tasty straw for said city employees, who spent the rest of the evening leading a city-wide canvas in order to capture Mr. Crack. The elusive yet public figure had slipped away after the concert by brilliantly changing from one completely black outfit, to a different completely black outfit, assuring his escape from the detail oriented detectives. -------------------------------TAZERS INTRODUCED, NOT RECEIVED WELL------------ Fortunately Mr. Crack, ( again, name unconfirmed) was later found in Tompkins Square Park, unapologetically strumming his acoustic guitar and was quickly whisked into a Police Cruiser heading to the Tombs. Soon a bevy of young fans were tazed and arrested after laying in front of, jumping on, or dumping trash on the cruiser. Realizing the futility of “telling the officers to not taze them”, the youths accepted the punishment, though not completely in silence, if ones counts the screeches of pain. The music / constitutional law / surrealism fans were soon hauled off to jail along with the cop killing, donut throwing, church burning Mr. Crack, who somehow, despite all these felonious activities, had managed to escape arrest for all these years. This SAT: the SAGA CONTINUES…. Tompkins Square, It’s Everywhere -Xris Spider. More on INFO on this weekend’s FREE!FUCKING!SPEECH! CONCERT / RALLY, VISIT: For Photos/Videos/ & more detailed accounts of recent Jelly Glazed Donut related events, VISIT: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Monday, September 12, 2011

"9-11 BY BIKE" 10 year old Team SPider TV tape unearthed

I shot this footage as the chaos was unfolding. I never labeled the tape, and until today, the 10th anniversary of 911, I never watched the footage. It features me, ( xris Spider) Dave, ( juggy D spider ), my lil Bro, and our neighbors at the Ave A. apt where TeamSPider was born...

In honor of the innocent lives cut short 10 years ago, and nearly every day since, i have cut together this video which captures the day.

Let us remember that those who were able to express themselves before perishing thought about love, not vengeance. Vengeance is what likely killed them. In the days since, we have bombed countless people. Perhaps it is time to lead by example, not misguided retaliation and greed.

JUSTICE ( does not equal ) VENGEANCE

----PS. new tunes to rise from the ash very soon..


Sunday, January 23, 2011


So, the fates bestowed me with 2 front row seats to Green Day's American Idiot play, which seemed like a solid enough mind-less night out. But when Billy Joe Armstrong, who is currently performing in the "musical" ( more on the quotation marks later ), spotted bandmate Mike Dirnt in the crowd several rows behind us and called him onstage… i thought maybe i should bust out my eyeFone and roll off some megapixels for the kids who missed it.

So here it is…
Billy Joe, Mike, and the unfree cast of glee, performing GOOD RIDDANCE/ Time of Your Life

I am not a reviewer, and perhaps I should leave that to the professionals, but since everyone is going to be asking me what i thought, i figure i should work it out on the idiot-net before i actually condemn or praise it to people who actually exist.

On the whole, I'd say that everything, from the cast, to the lights, to songs, to the costumes, to the set, made me sad. It relaxed me and tantalized my senses enough to give the feeling i am floating in the womb, not a care in the world, enjoying the stobe'ing tv sets, handfuls of glitter tossed by Billy Joe from his pockets (when he finally did appear), and feeling like everything is alright in the world, but then i realize I am not in this world, everything is colorful, characatured, and enunciated, except me. Which is basically how i felt in high school, and the reason i never joined the Glee club, or young Republicans, or any of the other clubs which i suspect were all held in the same room at the same time anyway. So, to be fair, i am not sure I could ever really truly enjoy a mindless punk rock musical spectacle, or a mindless spectacle of any sort, whether it be Nascar or Fireworks, I'd have to be pretty high on something to enjoy the moments between people catching on fire. So, just as I could probably not get too psyched up for a job putting together Nikes or stock portfolios, even though I'd like to think I could try, the reality is that if i ever went back in time to do High School 'right' this time, I'd still mess it up and have to face the reality that, as the prophet Dee Snider said, "I am, I'm me."

And that "me" finds himself sitting front row in a "play," that doesn't seem to have a lick of dialogue, posing as a musical that doesn't have a single sing-songy narrative, and in truth is probably more accurately described as a musical revue, sung by random interchangeable glee club members posing as 2-dimensional characters, occasionally joined by the guy they are all barely imitating. That in itself is so surreal, that I almost have to give it 11 stars. Perhaps your life will NOT BE COMPLETE unless you experience it. It will break you down to your core essence, like the bastard child of Freud and a Drill Sergeant, make you face the sad pathetic loser mess faggot conservative dreg that you are, and rebuild you into the perfect man or woman that Dee Snider's great great great grandfather Jesus wanted YOU to be. And it only co$ts 60-127 bucks.

You'll see characters appear for one song, and disappear never to be seen again ( except outside after the show looking to give out autographs ), you'll see characters who are set up to be main characters whom can easily have both their personality, and entire life experiences replaced by two or three cardboard cutouts. Example, cardboard cut out 1. Punk kid with sharpie drawn Black Flag tattoo, 2. the same kid in desert camo uniform, 3. same kid with a prosthetic leg, THE END. And that's 1/3 of the entire cast / "plot" / and show. Feel like more? Well i should charge you ( $127 divided by 3… ) oh what the heck, i'm feeling generous, picture three more cardboard cut outs: Not so punk kid on a couch, same not so punk kid with a pregnant girlfriend, same kid there without pregnant girlfriend, THE END, oh shit, did i just give away 2 thirds of the play? Do i have any more cardboard cut outs left? hmmmmm, Boba Fett, no, Princess Leia, no, oh wait here's three more: Least punk rock kid of all laying in bed, Least punk rock kid of all shooting dope with a girl in bed, Least punk rock kid of all working a suit and tie job… oh shoot, he may actually need four cardboard cut outs, no wait, we can just use the first one again, stand it next to the other 2 guys' third card board cutouts for the big reunion, and… THE END

Thats it. No lines, no growth, no insight, no character, no wit, no chemistry, no mustard, no mayo, no horsey sauce, a plain Lenders bagel, barely defrosted. Surfing upon some randomly strung together mix tape of Green Day songs desperately pretending to represent the characters'… i don't know what, essence? Even the songs, the true heroes upon this battlefield pitting fake plastic brother against fake plastic brother, sisters old enough to be their mothers, and inexplicably large choral groups ( guess that ticket price has too appear to pay for something ), these seemingly indestructible super soldiers of pop infiltration, domination and decimation, limp back missing limbs, sexual organs, and in the case of one song, which shall remain unnamed until his album can be notified, has been reduced to a blind mute quadrapalegic who can only communicate in morse code, incessantly nodding out the message "kill them, kill them, kill them." A selfless act that will be remembered long after we have all died, natural causes or not, by those who remember the few this nation can truly refer to as heroes.

As a kid, I remember hearing the critics of the first Star Wars movie say that you could fit the entire story line on the head of a pin. Well, in this case you could fit the entire plot of american idiot on the three periods after "in a galaxy far far away…" right on that same old pin. And there's no Wookies. Not one. Punk kid on a couch looks like a young Brandon Frasier, but that is no fucking substitute for a Wookie. And unless Han Solo's witty lines happen to have already appeared as lyrics in some early George Lucas pop single, they aint in this version of the pin head. In fact, if you just laid a bunch of space ship explosions and shots of Luke and Leia kissing over the disco version of the Star Wars theme song for 1.5 hours with no intermission, you'd basically have American Idiot. But you'd NEVER know they were actually brother and sister, and yes that might help you might grow up to be somewhat normal, but you'd be living a lie.

On a positive note, Billy Joe Armstrong is still a strong strong vocalist with a time honed, distinct and original signature style, and can pretty much do no wrong in this setting. He walks through the entire debacle like a god walking on the earth he created and appears to be having the time of his life, not to mention making a mint in the process. Who can fault him for letting this wild hog run loose, everyone in the audience seemed to feel they got more then their bottom dollar's worth and lined up to spend additional duckettes on keychains and posters on the way out. In a perfect world live drums and Marshall half stacks would be the centerpieces of every play I ever end up attending, but for now, i guess it's just this one. And theres no denying this is a real crowd pleaser, i'm just still not comfortable in the real crowd.

Guess I'd better write or direct my own musical. Till then, enjoy this one if you can.

PS. BJ, if you are reading this, I am available to rework this entire shindig if you get tired of unbridled success, OR, better yet, lets start from scratch and do a new one… If it's true that ya gotta get in to get out, your are now so in, we could surely rub one out.
see ya.
( chickenman has my # )

Monday, August 09, 2010


So, Tomorrow, TUESDAY August 1oth 2010, is the big public hearing regarding NYC's infamous home-made Community Gardens. The delicious little snippets of nature scattered throughout the city, tended to by the communities which they both inspire and calm, and saved by Elliot Spitzer "''needle -- sCKRAtch noise:'"" what wha wha?

Yes the "Sheriff of Wall Street" and infamous "CLIENT #9" was one of the many to rush to the aid of the gardens, but Spitzer was so helpful in this case, they deemed him Client #1, and named the bill / act / legislation after him! Good times, before falling 8 places in the charts...

Also, very helpful were Bette Midler, and 1 or 2 community activists who never bothered to make a record, movie, or high class hooker scandal, so we won't mention them ever....
oh what the heck: TIMES-UP!
Yes, those pesky garden loving, bike riding and very sexy sexy dancing Times-up! activists were part of the SOLUTION 10 years ago, and they are at it again...

Here are some videos, of preparing for tomorrow's big day...

including some original Seth Tobacman art / living demonstration poster power...

so, we will get up early.. ( 11am.. why so early !?!!?)

and go check it out, and report back... we expect to see Reverend Billy, those Times-up hotties ( especially BILL !), NYPD, and many more

Hand out the Save Our Gardens events, download at
  • Garden calender download


    more on seth tobacman art at