Saturday, January 28, 2006

CRITiCAL MASS Cop Injury / IDIOT-A-ROD / Warriors Bike Race

photo: fred askew.
it's become weekend of POLICE FEAR,
last night a scooter officer was seriously injured trying to grab a critical mass bicyclist, this turned the rest of the evening into a night of vengeful arrests / police suv's dooring bikes / and other signs of mayhem.

Now today, i am suposed to be heading to IDIOTAROD, its like the alaskan husky dog sled races, but instead of healthy dogs, its drunken human idiots, and instead of sleds, its stolen shopping carts...

sadly,,, i just got word that the police raided the IDIOTAROD organizers' space last night-- so the starting point has been moved to a secret location, ( which i am not idiot enuff to type here)
BUT of course, i fear police will be making arrests throughout the city, probably more vengence again for last night...

POLICE have not been too keen on idiotarod since initially raiding an art space after one of the artists hurt himself making a starter confetti cannon for the race, that resulted in a search of his house, where the police found "maps of tunnel system of new york" and more "bomb making materials", he was promptly facing terrorism charges, and has pleaded down to something that only landed him 90 days in prison... he is currently in RIKERS PRISON

now the GOOD NEWS!!......

the Warriors Bike Movie movie Xris co-directed is screening tonight , FREE!, at Houston St. near Broadway...

An all night, drunken, bike race from the Bronx to Coney Island

See Xris, aka THE LOST VIKING, lost in Bronx, dressed like a VIKING, DOMINATRIXES forcing people to spin the Astor Place cube, and lots of other things that should never had happened! featuring lots of Team Spider music

Team Spider

ps. all screenings of the film have historically sold out, so don't be like me, be on time!

January 28th. 8:00pm at the Time's Up space. 49 East Houston St, NYC

more info http://www.


on tues jan 31st,
ZAK will be released and heading home! after getting shingles ( adult chicken pox ) while in the hospital, his ordeal is over...
angain any well wishes can be left at our oft. ignored FORUM.

Friday, January 13, 2006


we were recent victims of Paparrazzi (along with our man Tomas).



*note: Tomas also takes lots of punk rock / squatter scene photos, one of which became the cover photo of the -CRACKTOBER RIOT DVD- Tomas also took many of the photos in the ending cop attack sequence.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

TSP-911 and the mystery of the LOST A.T.M. card

posted by XRIS....

A stressful start to the day when the sound/stage guy showed up, properly expecting his balance due in cash, about 1.5 G's. i planned to cash a 500 dollar paycheck at the check cashing place, and get the 1 grand from the team spider bank account, aka my personal & only account aside from our measly paypal deal. Go to EVERY check cashing place in alphabet city, all closed. i rarely use these rip off joints, but never thought they would all be closed on a Sunday. Maybe its a 9-11 thing.

Decide maybe by some miracle we have enough in the bank, and can actually deduct it all in one day by ATM. Standing outside the Lower East Side Credit Union on ave B. i find my ATM card to be missing, stolen, something...
Now -Me-, i dont lose shit like that, i've had the same f'n card so long there was barely any ink left on the white plastic...
this is insane,,,

meanwhile as i repeatably pass Tompkins on my bike i can see trucks are pulling into the park... feeling like i am trapped in some bad RUN LOLA RUN type move, i
head off to Ave C. and start tearing apart the house, this sound/staging guy is cool, but he is not gonna get swindled. he's an old school self described "jewish skinhead from the bowery" and is as hardball as he is friendly.

tearing apart my room i get a call. it's my mom, maybe a saving grace. rare to randomly get a call from her on some random sunday morning. i cant believe she would even think i was awake already. In between grunts and pants as i lift up my bed while holding the phone w/ my shoulder i fill her in briefly on the situation. i pride myself on not ever crawling to the 'rents for money, but i am sure she must have a grand in some wire-able source, and i would possibly / reluctantly accept an offer of temporary generosity rather that have 2000 punk kids lined up to kick my ass for not putting on a promised show...
"well, good luck with that..." is my mom's only acknowledgement of this giant emergency. Guess i wont have to test my independence.

Start thinking outside the box. I never open my mail, but isn't there always some high interest credit card from my bank arriving that i have to cut up into little pieces each month...?

start bending envelopes in the mail basket... YES. a credit card.. and it's actually from my bank, not DISCOVER or some B.S. Diner's Card orsomething. Have to hook-up a land-line up to my wall to call them cause i know they use caller id as a verification method...
"um yes, i am intersted in activating my credit card, what is the credit limit?"
"2000 dollars"
"yes! uh, i mean, that is acceptable"
i activate the card, somehow convince them to give me a pin#, or at least keep my old atm one... everythi8ng is coming up roses, till i soon discover... you can only withdraw 1000 dollars in a 24hour period.. shit

still $500 short...

hit 4 different ATMs racking up some nice Deli ATM rip-off fees and
head over to the park with my TS / Personal check book, which is currently at check # 1004 because we've written like 3 checks in the last 5 years. Not a sign of trustworthy operation. I hope for some trust/ sympathy from Abbott, the stage / sound system guy.

i start with giving him the 1000 bucks ca$h, which sets the mood proper, then say how i expected to cash this check from Law & Order ( obviously a profitable company not prone to bouncing checks ), can i sign it over to you??/
he says he has a Business Bank Account, and they will not take double endorsed checks, in a cool panic i pull out my final pitch, the weak "can i write you a personal check?"

He is of course not down with that, not without hardcore collateral, now he has already looked me up and down and can tell the only thing that i have of value is the guitar on my back, but his punk rock / working class background seems to prevent him from zeroing in on a man's tools / bread and butter. He comes up with the idea, "you write me a personal check for 500 bucks, -AND- give me your paycheck, as collateral, and i will mail you yer paycheck after your personal check clears."

Could be an old bowery con, and i could lose my entire weeks pay, but the show must go on. Plus he is showing some level of trust because I, in theory could call Wolf Productions, on Monday and cancel that check along w/ my personal check, and screw him...
so i see it as a stand-off / agreement between two people who know how to work non perfect situations, not honor amoung thieves, as much of honor of those in the frequent company of thieves... we shake hands, AND THE SHOW GOES ON!!!

mostly a blur, i will have to wait to review the misc. video tapes to recall most, but i do remember MAD CONDUCTOR winning over a potentially hostile hard core punk crowd w/ their hip hop ways, TEST SPECIMEN bringing some metal virtuosity from their mohawked 'selves ( i later realize their drummer was the kid in the picture in the New York Times article on the Riot at our show last year ), RABIA got a much longer and well deserved set than they were promised to due us being ahead of schedule so they were psyched), Brandon from DR. KNOW making a public apology to the Dead Kennedys, which Jello has been bugging me to give him on videotape for the A.T. website, People crowd surfing in stolen mail hampers during CHOKING VICTIM and STURGEON going beserker and beating up some kid on stage who took a swing at him, TEAM SPIDER kicked some ass our neighbor brought over a patio umbrella to shield ZAK from the blazing september sun, a new yuppie old lady coming and trying to pull the plug on the sound gear, police telling us they had a record 600 noise complaints, us being 50 decibles over the 70 Db limit, and the traditional pulling off the plug by the police during the last MDC song, despite the band being ready to go for many more...
but in the end, everyone got full sets, it was THE LOUDEST, BIGGEST, most professional SHOW / STAGE in the history of the park shows... best of all, it was FREE!
and even better... after we added up the total costs, and what we sold in water, donated t-shirts, riot dvd-s, etc... the cost of the show was 3000 dollars,... and we brought in 2,900 bucks. Then sam comes up and says he sold a couple extra cd's or something... and had 100 dollars he forgot to put in...!!!

We broke completely even.. to the dollar. unbelievable...
"its a wonderful life"
-----EVEN STEVEN--------

thanks to all for making it happen,

special thanks to Garrett from York, Pa. for hauling water to the show (putting the whitehouse / national guard to shame)

Robbie n Lara for making the shirts, will put xtras on the site..*they feat: George Dubya n daughter Jenna "showin their love 4 satan and ronnie james dio") --if you need to make shirts, Lara's company is

thanks to all the bands, gear sharers, clean up volunteers, people who pre-ordered the RIOT! DVD, and anyone

we are forgetting... in the words of Ozzy: "WE LOVE ALLLLL"( We're GONNA DO... PAARRRRRAAANOID!)"

Comin soon: HALLOWEEN on the steps of City Hall, ...... X.


CITY HALL PUNK" CRACKTOBER was a smashing success,

culminating w/ ZAk smashing to the earth.

Somehow ZAK lost his footing and fell backwards over an amp and off the back of the stage during the first to last song of the night
(sadly the final unperformed song was Zak's anthem to the world: "KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU".)
Strangely ZAK took his spill during " LILLY's TREAT", right after the final lyric, "neighborhood got good, and the good, it went away..."

then Zak disappeared.

somehow he landed, with his head closer to the stage then his feet, which i assume means he did some jackie chan style flip.

everyone rushed to his aid. he was bleeding from his head, but it turned out to be a minor cut that did not even require stitches.

Paramedics came, took Zak to a hospital and they did a Cat Scan and everything in Zak's noggin looked fine.
the hospital discharged him a couple minutes ago,

and Courtney ( who performed the Falum Gong / China persecution songs ) is spending the night with Zak at his place ( Zak you dog ) just in case he needs anything.
that prety much sums up the entire day. a lot of pitching in, looking out for each other, good food, free pot, good politics, good music, and suitably bad people. on a great 'Go old people' final note , with all of the chaos of Operation: Save Zak-ty Dump-ty, we were VERY late returning the stage and generator. in both cases people stuck around, un-paid, to let us in late. At the stage rental place, it was a 70 year old guy working the freight elevator who slipped us in after hours. amazing. if we all can stay that cool, that long, the world could be a cooler place.

TEEN Spider no more...

$am is the final spydr to bust out of teen deliquency. As of friday ( dec 2nd )...

$am is 20 years old. old enough to stink, not old enuff to drink--wish him a happy one.


sadly zak is forced to spend this THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY in the hospital. He was in the hospital last weekend ( nov 20th) to have minor

surgery to rewire his pacemaker,,, they discharged him the next day, after less than 24hours at home, he fell and couldn't get up,

Zak eventually managed to call 911, and is back in hospital for observation.

We are bringing ZAk a homecooked Thanksgiving Meal- as cooked by our neighbor SQUEEZE. ( thanks Squeeze)

****again, you can WISH ZAK WELL on the FORUM and we will print all your messages out for him

Team Spider / Leftover Crack @ THE HOOK new years eve.


12-31-05... a great time, The Mad Conductor had his record release, sort of a rude beastie boy / like emimen if he wasnt black,

TS kicked some ass with old school spydrrr: DAVE filling in on BASS! as Ladybug was lost in work/traffic/delusions...

THANKS DAVE !!! you rock

ZAK literally "phoning in" a heartfelt rendition of KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU, a masked Xris terrorizing the audience,

and L.O.C. feat. Ezra kicking Ass on guitar and B.U. Vox.... Great show, great venue, lets hope 4 many more at THE HOOK, a wild / tolerant place

the owner Pleasantly recalled last time we played there, -july4th2005- when the police showed up, just in time to be passed on the street

by a completely nude bike messenger who dove off his bike to tackle someone in a full pink bunny suit...

the police approached the naked man pummelling the off duty energizer icon, 'till they looked at Dave, the owner of the HOOK,

who just shrugged and waved them off... like he had it under control....

so... the police got back in their car, and were seen laughing as they exited the illegally blocked intersection.....

New Years with the Spider: TSTV

12-28-05 honor of the birth of your lord jesus christ / excessive partying / travelling / sleeping...

TEAM SPIDER combined their laxidaisy ( spelling? ) practice schedule w/ their drunken TV schedule=== and had their practice,

live ON AIR, at the 59th street MNN buidling.... in a brilliant display of multitasking, over extending, promoting, drinking, stressing,

answering phones and breaking bones, the TS posse, including a sick LADYBUG , rocked out songs by request, pieced together a set list,

communicated w/ retards, and even did a hi-tech ZAK collaboration from the hospital... a good time. *thanks to $am's mom for loaning us

her van, and watching TEAM AMERICA w/ us afterwards ( including the fecal sex scene which i doubt Mrs. Cleaver would've made it thru. )

Drive w/ my dad to the bus station,

posted by Xris...

One final trapped moment to shower me w/ endless bullshit.

Like the vauge yet repeated statement :”Don’t become a Martyr’
Which makes about as much to sense to me as the cop outside my courtroom repeatedly telling me “ Freedom isn’t free” …

What would constitute me becoming a martyr? Being shot dead in the streets for riding my bike?
Or making years worth of wage slave income and experiencing exciting and meaningful travel supporting my extremely relevant film on freedom of speech and right of assembly.
Or maybe just being reduced to make crass justifications for a work of art and entertainment that I deeply care about and am actually interested in..
So infuriating, he just has to find some way to fault, belittle or chastise anything I could ever fucking do..
And sad thing is I could give a fat fuck what he thinks about anything I have ever done,
He just traps me into situations like giving me a ride to the bus station after celebrating a farce of a holiday about a farce of a messiah and turning it into a fucking holier than thou shower of judgement, disappointment, and other non earned authorities.

Fuck that shit
“Don’t become a martyr,”
This from someone who went to fucking Vietnam.
While others where out in the fucking streets saying “Look elsewhere for your next stooge willing to take a death sentence, it aint me”.

Those people are probably the only reason I am not forced to become a fucking martyr in this current deja vous bullshit corporate interest war.

The final clincher…
“Do something positive, become a cop or fireman.”

Become a COP?! That is positive!!?? Beat down on the poor and borderline starving motherfuckers in the alledged wealthiest / most free country in the history of the planet? Why? Because they smoke marijuana, or don’t want to work in Wendy’s?

How about I do something positve like shut my fucking ears and sing yankee doodle till I can get on the shitty bus…