Saturday, April 28, 2007

Critical Straphangers !


Critical mass takes a new twist, with the return of tall bikes, hot blonds chasing cops, zero tickets.... though Xris is lost as usual!!!!

Friday, April 20, 2007



Terrorists highjack Scooters and fly them into Homosexuals at the World Trade Center.....
XRIS goes downtown to the former World Trade Center site to see how the UNCONSTITUTIONAL Anti-parade permit Scheme gets enforced pertaining to Homosexuals.
*(no more than 50 people can now gather in nyc w/out asking the police for permission)

Turns out, whether you've got a 10 Speed 'tween you legs, or a man lovin' rocket, you get equal treatment ! Finally... EQUAL RIGHTS !

math refresher: zero = zero.

As soon as these colorful GUYS ( n GALS ) STEP OFF THE SIDEWALK... They get a quick lesson in Gay Rights*
*the right to get beat down
(disclaimer, no need to watch if you completely trust and agree with your govt.)

Things seem fine and 'dandy', 'till these planet savin' non-breeders step Off the narrow downtown sidewalks, at which point they are beatin' back by AGGRO cops relivin' their high school glory days,,, back then, these soon to be passed-over football stars would pull over their cars & beat down queers while their ALPINE (TM) Stereo blasted Europe's THE FINAL COUNTDOWN, which acted like crack cocaine to their Swayze like animalism !!!

We Heart the 80's.


nothin' ta see hear Moby...

move along, its just your friend screaming, we're lookin into it

in the trash, like ya like it

i'm hot on yer heels... literally

i got my eyes on you red.. how dare you scuff my scooter wheel with the back of your heel

heh heh heh... ... heh heh

see, now ya get yers queer boy,,, a punch ta the chest - Bo Yah!

i said nothin ta see here,,, these whiteys don't listen! aaahh give 'em 400 years, they'll get in line

i'll push play nerdo!
***video window above /\
*note- you can subscribe somehow,, and be told when new vids posted... 7 people figured it out, i dont know how. X.

Friday, April 13, 2007


TEAM SPIDER has been =Busy =Busy =Busy: recording new tracks, editing new videos, hosting more LiVE bands on our cable access TV show, and planning a SUMMER 007 U.K. Tour ( and beyond?) ...
*** any U.K. hook-ups/ crash pads/ venue / booker recommendations etc. ARE WELCOME !!! ( see our "Wish List" Post )

sample of what its like to record w/ Team SPider:
(feat. the return of Dave's touching INTRO ! )

===="DAVE NAILS IT !!!!==== " video

****RECORDing Update****

Having recently finished the 3 new tracks for the MY LIFE 7 inch,...( hear new songs at )

....we went right back in to a Different Studio to record a Full(er) length CD***,

===="DAVE LISTENS !!! "=======

***note: new CD will feature the tracks: +FUCK BRAKES, +TAKEN APART, +WE OWN THE STREETS, +FATHER TELLS ME, +CRITICAL MASS + others (including of cover of Operation Ivy classic: UNITY)...

===="DAVE's Tears.... ;-( " ======

***note: going into studio again tapped out the money earmarked to put out the 7 inch !
so anyone interested in putting out the T.S. "MY LIFE" 7 inch / co-distro'ing/ recommends a good little label; etc... contact us..
everyone else: buy TS crap at to build our PAYPAL back up from the dead!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Critical Mass 07 - ,,,,,,,The Empire Strikes Back`````


The Rebel Alliance fights new oppression as the previously defeated NYPD gains new legal ground.

Writing their own laws, Ray Kelly and his Police Stormtroopers devise a permit scheme that actually makes it illegal to ride bikes in groups of 50 or more.

Desperate to save their cherished Right to Assemble, the rebel scum use the power of the Non-Force to gather and defy those who would like nothing more then for these bike-knights to stay home and watch imperial car commercials...

Part 1:

The rebel forces have been scattered through out the NYC galaxy.

Scouts and Pilots alike try to find any remains of the once glorious Bike-Knights.

Something draws the rebels towards a desolate alien outpost named after an ancient imperial exlorer:
Columbus Circle.

Part 2:

-A New Grope -
After over a year of relentlessly ticket bike-knights, the NYPD revert back to an ancient tactic known as "unecessary arrest."

The Bike-Knights are so powerful that it can take an entire Stormtrooper battallion to subdue a single knight, whether he or she resists or not...

The Emperial Guards attack without thought or mercy, right in the heart of the Time Square Galaxy- where the eyes of the universe are eternally focused.

part 3:

March 30th, 2007 - Month/Episode: 34